Sunday morning alert...

From my previous post, it would be quite obvious even to the intellectually challenged ones that I am a late riser. And I certify this little fact every weekend. Well, almost every weekend that is. There are times like today, when I am forced to wake up early in the morning. And the credit for this goes in full to that dumb family that has moved in our apartment two floors below my place. I think terming them as dumb would be an understatement, an insult to the ones who are actually dumb. These fellows are beyond anything stupid that I have ever seen or heard; and not just one person, but the entire family. I say this because I was woken up on a Sunday morning by the fire alarm that was wailing at 7 o’clock in the morning. That’s right. Kudos to the guy who designed that fire alarm – it did its job of awakening and attracting the attention of the entire apartment on a lazy Sunday (early) morning splendidly. The security guards dashed to the elevators to get in the building and check on which floor the alarm had gone off and the cause for it. But to everyone’s surprise, the elevators had gone to the basement and were refusing to budge! There was no choice left for them but to dash up the stairs and investigate. It was discovered then that the people whom I shall now refer to as the lowest form of life on earth – or LFLE were behind this early morning fire alert! It has been close to two weeks since they have moved in and they have successfully managed to spoil two weekends for me. Last week, they were blissfully having carpentry work done in their house till 8 o’clock in the night! I and my brother had to take the security to their house, throw the carpenters out of their house and mouth abuses to the folks there. And in spite of this, the lady of the house was wondering what the issue was – its only 8 in the night and why would anyone complain about a loud banging noise that has been going on the whole day?! Coming back to today morning, LFLE were celebrating their move into their house at 7 in the morning by performing a holy pooja of sorts – to which I have nothing against. But it is common sense that when they will be burning firewood in their house as part of the ritual, they should take the pains to disable the fire alarm for their house. The idiots were completely ignorant about this. Expectedly, a gush of smoke in their house triggered the fire alarm and rudely awoke me among many. And to top it all, hearing the fire alarm, senior LFLE had broken the ‘Emergency – In case of fire only’ glass and was pressing the button as if he had been given the chance to play around with someone who had just got silicon implants! No wonder then that the elevators in the building were disabled and the security guards had to run up the stairs to put things in order. And as if the LFLEs hadn’t done enough for the day, when the electrician came to reset the alarm, the suggestion that they gave him was –“Break the system so that it won’t wail again!” I would have paid the electrician handsomely if he had whipped out his spanner and beaten LFLE on his head till the spanner broke. I have seen dumb people but these ones are something different. For the two weeks that they have been here, they have managed to create some sort of nuisance. It remains to be seen what happens the next weekend. I wonder if they will burn the building down or flood it – should I sleep in fire proof clothing or in a life boat!

Wake up & rise and shine....

It’s been quite some time since my last post. And I blame it fully on the weather in my part of the world. It makes me feel so darn lazy that I feel it is a crime to do anything unless I find it absolutely necessary to do it. But then again, I feel happy in the knowledge that it isn’t me alone who seems to be suffering from this syndrome. Yes, that right. I’m sure there are many others who feel tortured by this weather. Of course, it is a fabulous season out here. The temperatures are just shy of the twenties most of the time and what with the ‘every-evening’ rain. It is beautiful and at the same time damned.

Yep, I typed it correct. That’s because the feelings that I described above fail to come in my average sized brains at 0600 hrs in the morning. Yep, that’s when my darned alarm screams its lungs out to wake me from my peaceful and much deserved sleep. Why?!! Why in heaven’s name do I need to wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning five times a week?!! Why can’t I begin my day sometime after 1000 hrs? Or say after 1130? The time between 0600 and 0602 is the time when I ask myself these same questions day after day. Of course at the same time I am groping like a complete idiot around the night stand to find the blaring alarm and to turn the stupid thing off. But I need to be careful as I do this and not smash it to the ground accidently – I need to wake up early on Monday again.

Proving Murphy right...

No, this is not about proving 'Robocop' right. Its the other Murphy; the one who comes to mind when something goes wrong - something that an incredibly small portion of your mind always told you, will.

I wonder if it is only me or many blessed souls out there, who constantly get this feeling that we are amongst the select few who happen to prove Murphy and his much publicised findings right all the time. Well, most of the times. Taking a classic example - after much deliberation, I think of a flawless shot to pocket a coloured ball while playing a frame of snooker. I have worked out the angles better than what Euclid could even begin to imagine. I have worked out the velocity of the cue ball to such an insane precision that Newton would have personally handed me the famous apple for it. With all this engineering in place, I play the much thought out shot only to see the cue ball disappear down the unfathomable depths of one of the table pockets. Why? Oh, yes. The geometry that I applied to picture the angle before I played the shot conveniently ignored the red ball, snoozing ridiculously near the target of my attention, and its evil effects. This was enough the make my opponent accept 4 points for a foul with a wide grin. But then again, a small part of me had this strange feeling - what if I hit the red ball by mistake?

And then it happened....

There exists only one way to do this - "Hello, world!"