The power of ‘medium’…

One of the best places to snooze is undoubtedly the grand chair at any men’s hair salon. It has one of those magical qualities which renders any person sitting on it feel extremely sleepy. And I say this with more than 20 years of experience! But this post isn’t about the chair, in fact it is about the interaction between the person sitting on the chair and the person who operates around it – the barber (or hair stylist [HS] if you like) and the common man customer (like me). This is for those of us who don’t go in for designer hair styles but prefer a simple trim. And in such a situation, there is a very finite set of instructions that one can give to the HS. One of the most commonly used (and yet one of the most mysterious) word is ‘medium’. This is used to signify quantity or amount. Either one could have his locks trimmed short or let them be long. Somewhere in between these extremes is ‘medium’. It is an untold understanding between the HS and the customer specifying the exact amount of trimming required without actually specifying the amount (yeah, that does sound weird!).

HS: “Saar, full short madla?” (Sir, shall I make it full short?)

Me: “Short beda, medium irli.” (Not short, let it be medium.)

The alert ones would notice that in the above conversation, nowhere has medium been elucidated upon. It is just that. Perhaps it’s some kind of telepathy which ensures that the HS understands just how much of medium is enough! It is because of this telepathic understanding that one can afford to snooze blissfully on the chair, while the HS goes about doing his job. So the next time you go for a trim, just say ‘medium’ and snooze away!

P.S. Disclaimer – if you snooze and your HS is an exception to the above mentioned rule (and doesn’t know when to stop), please don’t blame me!

Lost between 32 and 34…

The other day, I accompanied my friend who wanted to pick up some clothes, a pair of jeans to be particular. When the sales rep asked for his waist size, he was unsure what to tell; he later confided in me that he was somewhere between 32 and 34. I guess this is a dilemma which is faced by a number of people out there, myself included. Even I am treading the area of uncertainty between the waist size of 32 and 34. I have many jeans of size 34 and also have a couple of size 32. I look like a complete idiot whenever I wear either of the sizes. Size 32 makes me feel like I have had too much to eat; my face is contrived in an inexplicable way which lets anyone who sees me imagine a whole lot of weird things. On the other hand, size 34 makes me feel as if there’s still a bit of room left in there! God save me if I am wearing a 34 and I forget to put a belt. This means that one of my hands has a full time occupation of clutching my jeans whenever I am vertical, lest the unthinkable happen.

I thought of two solutions to overcome this unique (or maybe not-so-unique) problem: either I could hit the gym regularly, do some extra abs-crunches and get my waist size to 32, or eat some more of delicious, unhealthy food (like my favourite double-coated “butter naan” and some extra cheese pizza) and get my waist to a proper 34. I weighed the two options and there emerged an undisputed winner! There’s a ring at my door as I write this, guess it must be my pizza delivery.

Shove and push…

I was recently searching the internet when I came across this site which offers users with a free ‘direct push’ email. In case you aren’t sure what ‘direct push’ is, this should help you out. I signed up for the service to use with my Windows Mobile powered Smartphone. So far, it has been working just as advertised and I think it’s pretty cool. And since I don’t have a Blackberry of my own, this is the closest that I can get to the Blackberry experience. You can check out the site here – it is called mail2web Live!

EDIT - mail2web has gone for a paid model now. However, Google has switched on push email for Gmail so all rejoice!